He Should Be Jumping on Couches for You

Home alone, and I got the call I haven't gotten in a little while. The M-word call. The call that I usually get from my Mom, who usually pulls a fast one on a lazy Tuesday night right before Gilmore Girls when my guard is down, or on a Friday night when I'm totally wiped out from the week. That call usually goes like this:

Mom: "So I saw Mark XXX's sister tonight. You know, the guy you took to your Assembly Ball." (yes, I was a debutant...a begrudging debutant who got tricked into doing it b/c was told she could wear a big beautiful white dress that she could design).

Me: "That's good, Mom. How is he doing?"

Mom: "Well, I gave his sister your number because she said that Mark is single, and always said such wonderful things about you...! Was that ok?"

Me: "MOM! I'm dating someone! I'm living with that someone!"

Or, the conversation could go like this:

Mom: "I was talking to Grampa today."

Me: "Oh?"

Mom: "Well, Grampa was just wondering if I thought he would still be alive when you got married."

The best so far has been:

Mom: "Kate, have your childbirth people at work (now former work) read anything on how the older a man's things get, the higher the chances of having an autistic child? Don't those things get old?"

Me: " Mom, autistic children are very smart, and are usually very good at playing the piano. I wish I was that good."

Girlfriends know by now, with me, to refrain from these M-word questions. I didn't even notice, until a fellow Mista brought it up on Grays' Thursday night, that they had not "asked me about David" in some time. Even my friend who is usually the most understanding and supportive of my non-answers told me that I evaded the question well, after I had somehow turned it back on all of them.

As you know, my next post is really going to be about my now 5th day on the job for Katie James (and I'm really loving it!). But since I had this call tonight from my very dear Dental Mista in Chicago, who said the most funniest line about "He should be jumping on couches like Tom Cruise for you!!!" when she was wondering why 43 year old David has not asked my little almost 30 year old petunia the M-word, I had to write a post devoted to that line, I loved it so much. PS: My dear Dental Mista is admittingly marriage obsessed. She is very over dating and is really giving guys only 6 months to date her and make up their minds. At least she's direct about it. And PPS: I can't even spell "marriage" right. It's been the most commonly misspelled word in this post, before I spell checked.

So I'll try to create a poll. It's not an ultimatum poll, it's just a poll. Maybe I will create two polls and really get David into trouble. Before I do, let me state the following: I am not the marrying type. I have never daydreamed about a wedding dress. The only wedding dress I ever designed was in my college costuming class and it was big flouncy bloomers topped with a corset. I did think I would get married underneath a huge maple tree in my front yard because its boughs hung over ground, and it could look neat with the two of us coming out from under there with just the preacher man. But the maple tree is dying and thinning out, so the effect isn't quite as strong. Never thought my brother would get married before me, since I'm the first born on all sides, but that's ok. He's been dating his girl for 9 years, so, he's got me topped.

My first and biggest priority was securing myself financially and comfortably, so that I did not have to depend on my man. That plan had me supporting my man the first time I struck it out on my own, but that is not the case this time with David. Anyway, I digress. I had a secret fear I would get divorced because I would get bored in marriage. My palm when I was 14 said that I would either get divorced or almost get married and call it off, only to get married later. The latter happened (well, I'm not married yet, but I almost did one time). I also had a secret knowledge that I would be a single mom like Bette Midler in Beaches, except I would be cooler like Michelle Pheiffer in One Fine Day and more stable. I do have Gerdy, and that has made me feel like a single mom. So, I have shared with you my biggest reservations, and you see why now I have not been waiting around for 3 years to get married (see post on 3 year anniversary). But when you are almost turning 30, and have 3 new gray friends around your ears, I guess a girl gets to thinking. Oh, and my other secret fear is that a wedding ring will make me feel less sexy and more...old. So, there is that. David may feel the same, since he seems to be years younger than 43, but anyway.

So here is a poll. Kind of unrelated and could be its own post, but I'll put it here for now:
David has a friend X. X was not a friend with benefits, but just a friend with uncertainties who could not decide on our dear David. Let's put it this way: as soon as David and I officially started dating, he and X stopped talking. For 3 years. David just went out of town - on our anniversary - by accident b/c we both forgot we were in the actual weekend of our 3 year anniversary - and before going out of town, thought out loud that he might go visit X on the way back from seeing his sister. X was sort of on the way.

PPS: here is a tulip David just surprised me with before he left town:

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