Sweatpants in Disguise: The Anti Denim Jeans

By EVAN PERAZZO

Still wrapping your legs in rough suffocating denim? Like many wayward souls, you probably got duped into thinking blue jeans are comfortable.  Or maybe you found “stone washed” to be an irresistible marketing term. Well, here’s the sobering truth about denim jeans: they squeeze your legs, your jewels, and don’t even think about squatting or bending over. Do you think those barrel-bellied tourists trolling Times Square in jeans and white on white sneakers look good? You want to look like that? If so, I’d also recommend a belt and a Blackberry holster.

And don’t get me started on the button fly (all-time dumbest idea until McCain rang up Palin), or the skinny jean. This article is not about Halloween costumes.

Go, right now, to your closet and root out all the jeans you’ll no longer be wearing. Repurpose them by sewing up the legs and making potato sacks. Set your legs free. 

For me, comfort is king, and I’d wear sweatpants all day long if I could, but I do recognize the need to hold down a job. So what to do? Sweatpants in disguise.

The North Face Men's Pants and Shorts
The North Face Men's Pants and Shorts

Kuhl Crag Runner Pants



Jet Lag Tiago Cargo Pant
Jet Lag Tiago Cargo Pant




And for women, LuluStayAtHomeMom  are masters of cloaked sweatpants.


Truth be told, the first time I was sporting these and proudly uttered the phrase, “Sweatpants in disguise,” I was informed in no uncertain terms that they are “hardly in disguise.” Fair enough. But you’ll be rockin’ enough style to not get fired. And you’ll feel like you’re lounging on the couch at home all day long.